Bringing together non-believers …
Being married to an atheist as a believer is just like being married to someone that loves football when you can’t stand the sport; you tolerate the differences because that is what couples do. It can be difficult during, especially during Christmas, Easter and particularly when you have to observer the motions of religious practice. During prayer, trust me, the atheist may just pretend to be praying if he loves you that much. Some will refuse to participate in prayer, like myself. The best thing to do, just don’t get into an argument with your atheist spouse on why he does not pray with you during meals. Let it pass. Love him or her for different reasons and ignore the fact that he doesn’t like praying.
Dealing with Children
Children in my view are the most difficult to deal with, partly because religion is ubiquitous in Kenya. Kenyan children learn about God in School, church, on TV, Radio and most likely the atheist parent will have an uphill task explaining his position to your child. Worse still, you may find that you do not want your atheist spouse to talk to your child about atheism. My advice? Avoid debates with children pertaining to your beliefs. Be very general in your answers about existence and God. As he grows, maybe in his teens, then maybe you can start some critical discussions.
The wedding is mostly a big deal. You probably want a church wedding, or a Muslim/ Hindu wedding. You are dating an atheist. So the question of how your atheist spouse will approach the whole affair becomes significant. This can be quite sticky. If you love your atheist husband or wife to be, just ask them to pretend during the wedding. Just for you. Out of love, you know! Doesn’t hurt. Tell him to hold the Bible, let the pastor quote the book of Timothy, dance in church, bow down to pray. Tell them that it really doesn’t hurt. After-all, don’t we pretend in many many areas in life?
If you have a very religious husband/ wife, you may find that you like watching a christian TV station, or listening to a Muslim radio station, and this may lead to a lot of changing channels between the two competing radio stations in the living room, or even in the bedroom. This may bring some little conflict. Atheists get bored with this pastors lying to ignorant congregations.
If you get married to an atheist, if you are a Christian, the best thing is to understand that you do not have to agree with your spouse. This can seem counter intuitive to the concept of mutual interests being what draws most couples together, obviously. But it is learning to love your differences will make you stronger as a couple.
Are you dating a Christian, Muslim or atheist? How do you manage your relationship? Would you date a religious person as an atheist?
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