Bringing together non-believers …
By Brenda Chepkorir
Relationships are necessary for all human beings for the purpose of meeting our basic needs from food to sex. I am opposed to marriage as it has been taught to me. We are made to see as a permanent contract whose purpose is more societal than individual. Also when we use legal protection, it portrays the institution as an untrustworthy place that people anticipate need for legal redress. Monogamy however is a whole different thing. It states that a person is dedicated wholly to one person.
As earlier mentioned, humans are social animals, we interact and relate all the time for different purposes. When it comes to emotional investment I tend to be very monogamous. This is because I think when one chooses to call it a relationship, then it means both parties should openly speak about their views. Know their differences while seeking synergy. I think the one thing that makes these definitions bad is that people are not open and truthful. They do not really know what they want or compromise self for others. That is dangerous in the sense that eventually, someone conflicts with self and partner. When people openly share their feelings without judgement then people, can be in polyamorous relationships and still be happy.
Secondly, there is need to separate roles we play in our interaction. Be it with colleague, child, spouse, girlfriend, sponsor etc. What tends to be the problem is when partners allow their relationship role get in the way of parenting role.
Personally, I prefer open relationships. I am well aware of our human needs. I also do not like lies it kills something about the relationship. So when people openly admit to their feelings and I understand then the chances of conflict is lower. What we need is not to tame relationships but the grow a more genuine, sincere and truthful community of people.
Brenda is the Secretary of Free Thinkers Initiative, Kenya (FIKA)
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