Bringing together non-believers …
I got saved some years back. It was on a Sunday morning, i think i was 15 years old or there about. I went to church that morning feeling very dejected. This was a Pentecostal church in Buruburu Estate, the so called E.A.S.T. What happened is that the previous Sunday, before D-Day, the pastor had explained that the only way to get redemption, and everlasting life was accepting Jesus as a personal savior. I thought about it for a week, thought of what would happen if i suddenly died, the hell of fire, how lousy my life was at the time, the fact that i had no angels next to me, no Jesus walking next to me, and i made up my mind. I needed this guy jesus next to me most of the time. So we were called at the podium (i still think i made a big mistake going there), told to say (repeat) some 30 second prayer, then we were declared saved. Yes! My name was in a book of life.
Then the absurdity began.
There was this terminology called back sliding. Remember? Backsliding was the worst terminology that could ever be told to you as a ‘child’ of god. I used to like partying, and it was a time when i got a crash on this beautiful girl called Wangui. I admired her, and i even stopped going to church at some point because of my childish love for this GEMA girl. But i knew behind my mind, that i had been saved. Quite recently. Now with all this love thing going on, and my quest for heaven, i was confused. Now that i used to kiss this girl at times, a childish virgin kiss, was my name still in the book of life, and now that Jesus had condemned these worldly pleasures in the bible, was i doomed to hell? Why didn’t god understand that it was some childish love? But no big deal, i encouraged myself. The next Sunday, I went to church and asked for forgiveness. But still, i asked, had god forgiven me?
Something i must mention is that i used to take my moms change whenever she sent me for milk. Some form of childish corruption.
So the next dilemma was, and I wondered, if i lied to my mom and did not return her change, which i often did at that age, was it a sin? And how many times should i ask god for forgiveness? The point is that i committed so many adolescent sins after i got saved, and asked for forgiveness so many times, that i lost track of my exact status. It was either my name was not in the book of life, or it was, but there was another book where my sins were being recorded, and i had not prayed for all of them, and this put my mission of going to heaven at stake. Get the confusion? And no pastor gave me any real help.
Folks, this is how absurd and confusing Christianity can be. The concept of getting saved should be done away with. Especially with regard to young children. It has far reaching psychological implications on an otherwise normal growing child.
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